I'm tired..

I'm sick and tired of getting ordered around doing things for other people… I'm seriously tired of it… I hate myself for not standing up to reject them.. And when someone care so much for me… I will feel defensive and unable to accept their caring towards me.. I think there's something about me that I need to change… if not I will live a life like this forever.. getting ordered around and most probably getting bullied in the future… T.T